Creampies

 

72nd Creampie Stories: Taboo

Connie, Lee, and I had known each other since the first grade. That was more time than I wanted to think about, like 25 years or so. We started out heaving iceballs at each other, got busted to the principal’s office, and became close friends. I thought of them like sister and brother. I think our tight-knit togetherness was why none of us had ever had a serious relationship.

So maybe it was a bad idea to take the new designer drug Taboo. This is a drug that’s chief benefit was a feeling of euphoria and good will, but whose chief negative was breakdown of inhibitions. Yeah, that negative was also cited as a positive, since users sometimes did new things they were too tightly wound to enjoy. We were all pretty stressed, so when Lee score three tabs we decided to pop ‘em and let the good times roll.

The feeling of happiness and power took me by surprise. I’d tried most other drugs, but this one rocked! I felt like I was glowing, and I smiled so much it hurt. It wasn’t until later that I realized my judgment was impaired.

One of the things we decided was to play a game we called “Taboo”. Pretty original name, huh? It was like Truth or Dare, but the idea was to expand our boundaries. We took turns suggesting something daring, and the other two would have to do it. If they didn’t, they risked being called a pussy. OK, laugh, because I know it isn’t a very strong penalty. But realize we made up the rules when we thought every thing was possible.

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71st Creampie Stories: The Babysitter

I barely had time to throw on a clean t-shirt and jeans before the doorbell rang. “I’ll get it,” I called, since everyone was expecting it was Mr. Green coming to pick me up. Sure enough, it was Mr. Green. I grabbed my backpack and called out “I’m going now” to the household population at large. No one replied.

“Hi Jenny,” he said. “You ready?” Like a gentleman, he reached for my backpack.

“Sure,” I said, handing him my pack. I noted how effortlessly he carried it.

As he led the way to his Suburban, he apologized, “I’m sorry, but I am on an important phone call. Can you be very quiet? I need to resolve this right away.”

“No problem!” I replied. I thought it would be fun to listen to him do business. My dad never talked about his work, so this would be a first. Mr. Green opened the passenger side back door, and I slid in. He handed me my pack and shut the door.

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